Monday, June 2, 2014

Mother of the Bride

Today at my chiropractor's office the ladies who work there called me "the mother of the bride" as I left after my adjustment.  "See ya next time 'Mother of the bride!' they said.   I had spent the half hour before telling them that my daughter1 had just gotten engaged and how excited we all were for her and her new fiancé.  We talked about how important it is to find the reception spot first, and then from there to pick the date…and that gets the ball rolling for everything else.

 Well, we got the place and we got the date.  So charge ahead!

I have been so very happy for daughter1 and her boyfriend since hearing they plan on marrying!  I have already gotten into the "wedding mode"…  I'm now always on the look out for an idea, or a great favor gift, or something cute to do at the reception.  I want to find something really special - and perhaps, unique for their big day.

But, I must tell you as I was walking to my car after leaving the chiropractor's office I thought about how I heard myself being called "Mother of the bride."   It stopped me in my tracks for a minute - it was a bit eerie to hear.  Who?  Me?     All of a sudden images of old women in conservative dresses popped into my head.  I thought of dowdy outfits, and little cotton handkerchiefs, and glued on smiles…    and somehow a women from the 1950's was my image of "the mother of the bride."

So, please help me out:  who is today's "mother of the bride"?  I know I am not as young as some mothers of the brides out there, but yet I still feel that I am, and I feel like I can be fashionable and wear my hair down.  I'm not frumpy.  

 I do not want to ACT overbearing and I do not want to be become all crazy over the upcoming event.  We have months to go before the wedding.  It's plenty of time to get everything selected, to make lists, to get items ordered, pick dresses, order the cake, the food menu, the flowers etc.  It's also plenty of time to go a bit nuts with it all.   I think about movies about weddings… and how things get out of control in them.  Sometimes it is funny - but sometimes it can be disastrous.

So, today I am still working on being the "Mother of the bride" and what I want it to be.  I know that I WANT my role to be:   one that's coming from total love, giving absolute support, giving encouragement, offering suggestions, and making sure the wedding is what daughter1 and fiancé want.

I want to keep a proper perspective.  I want to pace myself through the coming months.  And then, most of all I want to enjoy the special day!   So, if you see me going "astray" please grab me and shake me a little!  I may need it.

I have had 28 years of getting the role of "mother" down.      Now I have to accept and appreciate my new title as….. "mother of the bride."  


  1. It's a fun new role, I agree. I think initially your entire to-do list flashes before your eyes and the calendar with it. Now that we've had time to let it all sink in, everything feels more manageable. I say enjoy! Have fun with your daughter and let her take the lead. I think as long as you ask before acting, you're okay. I remind my daughter that everyone has an opionion about how a wedding should play out, but to always keep her own vision up front. We can compare notes along the way : )

  2. My daughter just got married on Friday! So I am "The Mother of The Bride." I had a spectacular time planning my daughter's wedding. I only had 6 months to do it in too. ;) It was wonderful this past weekend to finally sit back and see all of the planning come together to make something truly magical. Have fun! I let my daughter pick everything out. She chose to have a black and white wedding. I thought great! It is going to look like a funeral. LOL It didn't it actually turned into a beautiful and very elegant wedding. Who knew black and white could look that good? I know what you mean about wanting to keep it all in perspective.=) Hugs from one mother to another, Valerie