Sunday, April 14, 2013

The letter M

The letter M has got to be for marriage.  Yes, so much has been written about it but in many ways it's still such a mystery! 

I am blessed to be in a wonderful, successful marriage.   I still wonder after 28 years (and still going strong) how I got so lucky, or why it is hubby and I survived when so many don't.    Below is a list of some reasons I think were in our favor:

* We didn't marry young.  We were in our late 20's and had already lived on our own, done our sharing of dating,  We both worked, paid bills, lived as "grown-ups" apart first.

* We were tired of being single (and the single world at that time) and were ready to share our lives together and to start a family.

* We had a nice mix of similar interests AND different ones.  So, we had things to do together that we enjoyed very much, but we still had things to do and good times apart.  We still do. 

* We truly love and TRUST each other.  I don't think any marriage can survive without trust in the other person.  We did not hide things or issues from each other.  We both have said we can't keep secrets from each other.

* We never fought over finances.  Oh, yes, we have had a few issues on how to spend money...what might be frivolous or what might be unimportant.  But, in reality, over the years I think I can count those moments on one hand.

* We have always had a core religious belief.  We believe in God, and his son Jesus, and the Holy Spirit.  We did not have differences when it came to how to raise our daughters.  We were not split on church preference or religious education for them.

* We introduced new interests to each other.   He showed me the importance and fun (yes, fun) of exercise and adventure.  I have shared with him my love of music and the arts.

* We have equal, unending love for our daughters and want the best for them.  We have never used them as pawns in our lives together.

* We share a similar vision for our future together. 

*  We still enjoy being each other's friend and hanging out together.

So, even with ALL this going for us, sometimes marriage is still challenging.  Sometimes I still don't know how we made it work...   except to say the years have never been boring.  They have never been without anticipation of more good times ahead.   

I don't really believe that God puts people together.  But, I don't think I could have found a better marriage partner.  So, I like to think God was there all along. 

I know other couples who have been happily married much longer than we have and I admire them.  They are my role models. They still laugh together.  They have so many memories together.  I also, unfortunately, know couples where marriage is a struggle, and a few couples where marriage together should just end. 

So, I guess for the letter M for Marriage...the word Mystery goes along with it.   Again, I feel blessed to have my marriage partner and our life together.  I pray for those who want a good marriage but don't have it.


  1. Congratulations on staying married. It is a lot of work sometimes, and I think needs to be celebrated.

    1. Thanks Joyce - and right back at ya!